The Name

Two things before you read this:

  1. Kirk is officially the Fact Checker in our Family. My memories are usually a little more Big Fish than his…if you are reading this Kirk and you feel that anything I’ve written is wrong, misleading or EXTREME feel free to comment. But I know he won’t.
  2. If you are reading this and you don’t know me, this post right here is THE PERFECT post to give you an idea into my brain
  3. I read this aloud to Kirk just now and he gave me his “you’re crazy” look and said my version was “about right” and that’s all I aim for nowadays.

And, BTW, that’s 3 things not 2…and, in this family, we call any math I do Fuzzy Math and, as far as I can tell, counting is Math.

I’ve compared my Name Choosing Process (be it Child or Ranch) to creating a grocery list for a party of 4. Wait, then another couple invites themselves Then you find out someone is a Vegan and two people are Lactose Intolerant. There is also a Recovering Alcoholic and a friend of a friend who just got dumped and is going to need a LOT to drink.

See what I mean?

It involves starting with a small list and then adding more and more items then crossing some off and adding a few more then deleting 5, but also adding 8 after the fact. The list looks like someone was playing a game of MASH and writing a song at the same time while also doing their grocery list.

When I named Reeve, I would sit in my office (yes, I had a Real Job once and an office and made a LOT of money….now I sit at home and sing B-I-N-G-O 100x a day) and start with a pretty and clean lined piece of paper and by the end of each day end up with one name I only kind of, sorta maybe liked.

Lowe was different. Heard a name. Had a story. Done!

Naming The Ranch had nothing to do with me and, these days, that’s exactly how I like Major Life Decisions.

Mama is tired and ain’t nobody got time for anything that requires me to really think…unless it truly is a grocery list because I really am good at that. Well, I take that back…new city, new grocery store has messed up My System and until I learn the aisles (I have tried to write them down the last few times I went but somebody is always crying) I end up zig zagging all over the damn store, back tracking for butter or quinoa or something. Side Note: The Annie’s Mac & Cheese and Almond Milk are in a whole separate section of the stores here in what’s know as the Nature Market. In Colorado, all the foods were….they just WERE…and now the healthy stuff is in a completely different area. It baffles me b/c I’m sure the Psychology of Shopping makes some people think these Healthy Items cost more….done!

The Ranch was named after the previous owner’s and it really just bothered me every time we pulled up to it. Their names started with a C and a D and “C D Ranch” sounded “seedy”…

Don’t get me wrong, they are lovely people, it’s just that it’s OURS now…sure, we still need their help learning about the horses and how to do things around with the land, but this is OUR house dammit! We uprooted our lives and children to move to this little slice of land and that has MORE than earned us naming rights. Oh, and our names are on that mortgage now…not theirs!

So, what’t the name, you ask?

Well, let me take you back to January 2009! Kirk and I had just started dating, in fact, we’d maybe only been on 4 or 5 dates at this point. I was careless, carefree, unemployed, homeless and pretty much open to anything! He was hard-working, the boss of many, sat at a desk and was awed by nearly every word and idea I had. He really had no idea what he was in for when he started up with me. Poor Guy, didn’t stand a chance!

One snowy day, I called him and said SNOW DAY….skip work and come play with me. Well, again, I didn’t have a job and every day was Snow Day for me, but Kirk, well, he had people to boss around and deadlines and HUGE companies and important people to deal with.

Did I care? No way!

I decided we’d drive around in my Honda Civic and do donuts in parking lots.

What the WHAT?!??! You read that right. Yes. You. Did.

Kirk was nervous. Kirk is always nervous, but was still in that phase where he didn’t want to not go along with my ideas for fear of looking lame and so he sat in the passenger seat while I pulled the Emergency Brake and spun us around lots in LoDo or somewhere. It’s the small things, people.

I wish I had a picture of us. He was grasping the Oh Shit Handle for dear life and I was maniacally cackling in delight. Oh, and this makes me remember the time we were lost in Italy and I was driving the Manual Car and taking hairpin turns and he was shaking, white and praying for his Life….and…back to story.

I then decided we’d go to the Aquarium. Or the Museum. Or somewhere. Only…I didn’t know how to get there.

This was before you could easily just pull Maps up on your iPhone. It was actually back when Blackberry’s had that little rolly ball thingie and you could pull up a map it just took a long time and, back then, I wasn’t in a hurry.

I got us lost. Well, you are never really lost in Denver (just look West, right), but I wasn’t listening to him trying to tell me where to go and I said, “I’ll just keep making Right Turns until we get us there.”

Now, this is the part where you say to yourself, “how does she remember that?” and I say, “Are you kidding me? You think I remember that? I can’t remember what day it is.”

Kirk remembered that….duh!

So, when it came time to name this place, I’m thinking about song lyrics and things from our wedding, places we’ve been, looking at our surroundings. I don’t have a lot of brain space these days and unless that damn sign looked at me with lips and actually TOLD Me it’s name, I wasn’t gonna come up with a name for this place.

Kirk, however…well, Kirk is good like that.

He told me he’d been thinking the Right Turn Ranch and I’m all “ohhhhh…I see….because you make a right turn to pull in here, huh?”

And he’s all “well, that and the time you got us lost and said you make a lot of Right Turns in life and…yada yada….and something about the symbolism and making the ‘right turn’ in life with this decision to move here and so on a yada yada”

He’s deep like that.

Me???

Well, I’m all “sounds good to me.Can I make a pretty sign?”

Kirk rolls his eyes and I make 4 subsequent trips to Michael’s for wooden letters and paint and brushes and I spill paint everywhere and make a mess on the sidewalk and end up making it off-center and a little tight between Right & Turn and everyntime I look at the new sign I smile and say to myself a sentence I find myself uttering quite often these days:

Kirk was right! We really did make a Right Turn (literally)

PS…does EVERY SINGLE THING around here need to have a horse on it? NO….NO IT DOES NOT! I don’t know why the previous owners insisted on putting rooster and stars and horses on EVERY THING. It’s not like people didn’t see the horses. I like horses and all, but ENOUGH WITH THE HORSES.

PSS…or is it PPS? We only have TWO horses, not THREE, so it’s wrong anyway

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