November 2015 archive

I See The Farm

As we wait to hear if our Offer has been accepted on the Ranch in Kansas, I’m having a hard time looking West. I won’t lie, the thought of leaving those gorgeous mountains is really hard. I mean, REALLY!

We don’t get a chance to go into them too often, maybe once a month, but I love looking at them. The thought of not waking up and seeing them every day has been really hard. If I think about it for more than a second or two, I start to tear up and second guess what we are doing.

Kirk doesn’t seem to be as affected by them as I am. I should note that I have been the one dragging my feet in this decision the whole time we’ve talked about it. You may think that it’s me wanting this change the most, being that I’m from Kansas and all and it’s MY family we are moving near, but that isn’t the case. Kirk is definitely the one more confident in the changes this will bring for our family.

When we saw The Good Dinosaur yesterday, i had a hard time concentrating on the Plotline for the scenery. Being about dinosaurs and all, the background was mountains, trees, rivers, snow…it looked exactly like Colorado now and I imagine was intended to do so. I know it was a cartoon or animation or whatever, but it looked so real that even scenes of Arlo lying in a river rock bed looked so real I had to remind myself otherwise.

As the movie continued and the family’s farm which sustained them showed more and more, I found myself focusing on how pretty the land around them was and getting sad about leaving the mountains to the point that I really just quit watching.

We came home and I opened a bottle of wine and went to town! Kirk knew something was up and I told him how I don’t know how I can stand to leave the mountains. Being the amazing, smart, profound man he is, he said 8 words to me that I keep repeating to myself over and over today every time I look West (which physically hurts at this point).

YOU SEE THE MOUNTAINS, I SEE THE FARM

He’s right. I can’t see what we are gaining because I can’t see past what we are leaving.

We both looked at the same picture and saw two totally different things.

You see the mountains, I see the farm

I see mountains. I see pretty. I see snow and a place we get to Play in.

Kirk sees a family working together. Learning how to provide for each other. He sees lessons our boys will learn that they will value their whole life, lessons that will grow them into hard-working men.

I just see Pretty.

He’s right. He usually is.

It’s humbling to be married to someone who can just focus on what’s important so easily, who can put our family first when his wife is obviously, completely wrapped up in what’s pretty.

It will always take some time to get used to waking up and not seeing Mountains….I guess I’m going to have to get used to waking up to 2 Wild Mustangs and rolling hills, woods out my backdoor and always being able to step outside, look up and see the whole galaxy of starts from my own porch.

Teddy & Popsicle

After a treacherous 11 hour drive back from Kansas in the ice, sleet, rain and snow, we immediately walked in the door and got the boys ready for Bedtime.

But Lo and Behold….we left a very important family member behind.

Teddy!

About 6 months ago, Reeve was invited to a birthday party at Build A Bear where he chose a Darth Vader (they didn’t have Batman costumes at the time) bear. And he fell in love. There is no other way to put it. He let the bear wear the costume for a day or two and then, once removed, he realized how soft and cuddly Teddy was. And Teddy became his Comfort Item.

What’s strange about this is that he hadn’t had a “Comfort Item” thus far. For 3 years of his life I guess I was that to him….but this bear. Well, Teddy does something for him that I can’t, or WON’T, do. Teddy sleeps with him at night!

So, when we realized Teddy was back in the basement at my brother’s house we knew we quickly needed to come up with An Adventure For Teddy.

Teddy flew to the North Pole to go pick up Reeve’s Elf on the Shelf, Popsicle. GENIUS!

Except…Reeve wasn’t buying it.

“Teddy isn’t real, Mom” and “Popsicle is just a doll.”

After much convincing we somehow managed to get Reeve to fall asleep with a teddy bear of Lowe’s that felt similar. It wasn’t easy. He cried and kept saying, “It’s dark outside, Teddy will be scared…the creatures will eat him.” He was so afraid for him. It broke my heart!

The next morning Reeve wanted to know where Teddy was first thing. We told him he was still at the North Pole and that he would be back when Santa was done with him. He seemed okay with that.

That next afternoon we decided to go see The Good Dinosaur. In the car Reeve said, “Mommy, Teddy doesn’t even know where we live.”

Quick thinker that I am explained how Teddy, like Hannah, has a chip in her neck with our address on it that can be scanned if he ever gets lost, but it wasn’t something he needed to worry about b/c Teddy knows our address. Reeve said, “Teddy’s chip is in his heart that I kissed, Mommy.”

Yes!!!

Whew….another bullet dodged.

And then the movie starts. It was the saddest movie for kids I’ve ever seen. The daddy dinosaur gets swept away in a flood and Reeve was crying and shaking and asking if I was ever going to die. We finally calmed him down from daddy dino dying when baby dinosaur gets swept away in a flood too!

What the hell, Disney?!?!

More crying. More shaking. Reeve wants to leave. “This is the worst movie ever, Mom!”

Then, with big tears in his eyes, he looks at me and says, “Does my heart have a chip in it, Mommy, if I ever get lost?”

Kirk looked at me and our mouths agape we snuggled him and explained how it’s okay to feel sad and scared and that’s what makes movies good.

I’m really proud of Reeve. He’s pretty dang smart, but I was so happy to see the empathy and to witness him connecting the dots about loss and family.

It’s a lot for a little mind to have to take in and I’m glad we haven’t had to deal with death in our family. Reeve is a sweet, sweet boy who is ready for Teddy to come home!

Thankfully Aunt Connie popped him in the mail and he was only gone for 4 nights.

I planned an elaborate arrival (not really…but pretty good considering Lowe won’t let me put him down these days).

I pretended the doorbell rang and this was waiting for him.

IMG_5812

He was mildly excited to say the least. The Lego Christmas Tree was more exciting to him than anything. Go figure…

Anyway, Teddy is back and Popsicle is in his *spot* (our Elf is too lazy to move every night) and the Lego tree is up (the actual Christmas tree is lazy too) and we are good to go. Everyone is home and safe and right where they should be.

Holy Cow! Er….horses?!?!

We did it!

After nearly 2 years of looking for land or a house we can remodel in Kansas, we FOUND THE ONE and made an offer on it!

We first found the 13-acre property over Halloween and went back over Thanksgiving to meet with the owners and decide if this is what we really want to do.

I’m pretty much freaking out and even though we have a LONG way to go until it’s Ours, I feel like we can finally say that we are on the road to making this dream happen.

While I can’t share too much at this point about the house, I can tell you that it’s STUNNING! The house…the land…the hills…the barns…the property…the patios…the red front door….the TWO WILD MUSTANGS!

l2ae13245-c34xd-w640_h480_q80-1

Did you read that right? You did!  The house comes with 2 Wild Mustangs, Cheyenne & Cody!  What are we thinking? We don’t know a damn thing about horses, but we can’t imagine leaving them as the entire property was built for these babies.

The owners were precious. Sadly, they are aging and the husband is having a hard time walking, let alone caring for the 13 acres and 2 horses. When we first walked into the house and met the owners, I asked immediately “Tell me the story of your home.”

How I long for a home with a Story and not just  out of a box like we have now.

We sat in front of the 2-story limestone fireplace with the heat from the REAL fire warming us and settled in for a story that made us all cry.

While watching a documentary called America’s Vanishing Wild Horses, he felt compelled to make it his Life’s Dream to rescue 2 Mustangs. As his voice quivered and his eyes teared, he said, “I said to myself ‘no living creature was meant to live like that.” He went on to tell us how he chose the horses from a property in Wyoming where the Kevin Costner movie “Dances With Wolves” was filmed. He was warned that they were “too horses”….too ugly, too expensive, too wild. He got the 2 horses at just 6 months old and now, 18 years later, is having to leave them behind.

We hope he feels comfortable enough in our ability to love and care for them that he lets us have his home.

She walked me room-to-room showing me things I never would’ve noticed and I too fell in love as Kirk already had.

When we first viewed the property last month, I was so not interested in it based on the pictures online that I didn’t even go with Kirk and our realtor to see it. I flat out refused. An hour or so after Kirk got there he called me and said, “you HAVE to come see this place.”

As I drove down the long hill to the property and was met by the 2 galloping horses, I knew what had happened. Kirk had found his Mistress. There will never be words to describe the smile on his face when I stepped out of the car. He was done for.

Sure, the house is outdated and needs some serious work to make it “ours,” but it’s GORGEOUS! With a wrap-around porch and windows in every room, it’s like something out of Country Living magazine. No, it’s like the COVER of Country Living Magazine.

So, here I sit, days after we return awaiting a counter-offer from the owners both terrified and excited.

I can’t wait to share this journey, this dream with you.

Please come along with us…

Welcome ~ First.Post

Well Hello There.

Welcome to my first post here.

My name is Jessie. This is me and my husband, Kirk. He is my favorite person. He is the kindest, most gentle man I’ve ever met. He loves music, baseball and our family so hard you can see it.

12119073_10208013226873414_1257249801908185595_n.jpg

Kirk & I ~ October 2015 at Keystone Wedding

I have written a blog for my boys for over 4 years. You can find so much more about them at To Those Who Wait. My hope is that someday they will read about their lives from the day I found out I was pregnant with each of them on with their wives and children and laugh and delight in all the stories and memories I kept for them.

Kirk was my first & only online date. We got married after knowing each other a year and a half. I walked down the aisle to “Here Comes the Sun.”

We have 2 boys (Reeve & Lowe). Each has a story to their name that I love to tell people.

12184211_10208216035663507_2195781432969355933_o.jpg

The Day Lowe learned how to roll onto his side and found Brother’s face….

I am from a small town in Kansas (about 800 people). Went to University of Kansas and moved to Denver in 2007.

Turquoise is my favorite color. Sushi my favorite food. Or Mexican. Or fish. Maybe it’s chocolate? What can I say? I love food…especially if I don’t have to cook it.

I can’t bake b/c I have a tendency to improvise….but I wish I could.

I love decorating and have inherited my love for antiques from my parents. I would paint every room in my house a shade of blue if Kirk would let me.

We own a screwdriver and a hammer…so we aren’t very handy (yet), but we seem to always have awesome neighbors who let us borrow their tools.

October, November & December are my favorite months (fall leaves, food and LOTS of presents, sparkles and traditions).

I prefer to wear flip flops but, for some reason, own about 50 pair of shoes

I’m 6 feet tall

and while I could go on and on, I must leave you with this…I honestly believe that there is nothing more important in this world than having a home where my boys feel safe, loved and free to play and explore.

For that reason, and that reason alone, I have named this blog Burbs To Barns. As you will see in my next post, Kirk and I whispered to each other from our pillows for over 2 years a dream that would change our lives and that of our boys in the most positive way imaginable.

I hope you follow us and come along on this dream with us.

Love,

Jessie

Family 15-1.jpg

Family Photo from our Christmas Shoot 2015 ~ Denver