As we wait to hear if our Offer has been accepted on the Ranch in Kansas, I’m having a hard time looking West. I won’t lie, the thought of leaving those gorgeous mountains is really hard. I mean, REALLY!
We don’t get a chance to go into them too often, maybe once a month, but I love looking at them. The thought of not waking up and seeing them every day has been really hard. If I think about it for more than a second or two, I start to tear up and second guess what we are doing.
Kirk doesn’t seem to be as affected by them as I am. I should note that I have been the one dragging my feet in this decision the whole time we’ve talked about it. You may think that it’s me wanting this change the most, being that I’m from Kansas and all and it’s MY family we are moving near, but that isn’t the case. Kirk is definitely the one more confident in the changes this will bring for our family.
When we saw The Good Dinosaur yesterday, i had a hard time concentrating on the Plotline for the scenery. Being about dinosaurs and all, the background was mountains, trees, rivers, snow…it looked exactly like Colorado now and I imagine was intended to do so. I know it was a cartoon or animation or whatever, but it looked so real that even scenes of Arlo lying in a river rock bed looked so real I had to remind myself otherwise.
As the movie continued and the family’s farm which sustained them showed more and more, I found myself focusing on how pretty the land around them was and getting sad about leaving the mountains to the point that I really just quit watching.
We came home and I opened a bottle of wine and went to town! Kirk knew something was up and I told him how I don’t know how I can stand to leave the mountains. Being the amazing, smart, profound man he is, he said 8 words to me that I keep repeating to myself over and over today every time I look West (which physically hurts at this point).
YOU SEE THE MOUNTAINS, I SEE THE FARM
He’s right. I can’t see what we are gaining because I can’t see past what we are leaving.
We both looked at the same picture and saw two totally different things.
I see mountains. I see pretty. I see snow and a place we get to Play in.
Kirk sees a family working together. Learning how to provide for each other. He sees lessons our boys will learn that they will value their whole life, lessons that will grow them into hard-working men.
I just see Pretty.
He’s right. He usually is.
It’s humbling to be married to someone who can just focus on what’s important so easily, who can put our family first when his wife is obviously, completely wrapped up in what’s pretty.
It will always take some time to get used to waking up and not seeing Mountains….I guess I’m going to have to get used to waking up to 2 Wild Mustangs and rolling hills, woods out my backdoor and always being able to step outside, look up and see the whole galaxy of starts from my own porch.